survey

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

-The existence of females

2. When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

-I think it was when i was 5 years old and i put my hand into my buddy`s sister pants. :)

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

-are you crazy or blind? females rock!

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

i think it is caused by the neurotic love of female`s boobies

5. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?

well, if you haven`t been tortured in a war, is it possible that all you need is a good torturer? What if you`ve never tried to eat shit?

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

to women. orgasms.

7. Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your lifestyle?

MY lifestyle? huh?

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can't you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?

sometimes i get overexcited and neighbours can hear us. i`m sorry and guilty as charged.

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they'd face?

like being dumped by stupid whores (for boys) or being approached by jerks who want just to get laid (for girls) ? well, its all part of the game

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are supporters of chicago bulls as well. and i don`t feel safe when my kid is being exposed to a chicago bulls fan... wait a minute... i have no children.

11. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

bad sex.

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

because focusing on other things is trivial.

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

use condoms:P or the pill :P or abortion :P or spiral:P

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

learning is not a bad thing

15. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop your natural, healthy homosexual potential?

the goal is to bang the pussy, not to become whole.

16. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

NO! bring it on!